January is a month for setting new intentions and goals. In the US, we have celebrated the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King. His dream of finding freedom in our higher values and character has touched many of our hearts. How can we continue to honor the challenge he has given us in our day to day lives? . . .
In our day to day life we often experience many opportunities
to appreciate the higher aspirations and character of
the people we meet. Alternatively, we also can see
others according to our personal reactions and hidden
prejudices, whether they be race, class, or whatever.
The former leads to opportunities for growth, harmony,
and peace. It allows ourselves and others to be free.
The latter leads to judgments, shame, blame, and
feelings of separation.
Now, suppose someone pushes our buttons. This person
may appear to be critical and intimidating. So how do
we react? Here are my reflections on what we could do
and or not do from the perspective Dr. Martin Luther King.
What Not To Do:
React quickly. Be sure to blame the other, and get
ourselves in an emotional tizzy, or at least take time
to stew. We can even call the person names and get it all
out. What is most likely to happen? Yes, you guessed it --
a continuing fight. Even worse, as long as we believe
the problem is with the other person, we are trapped,
because our happiness relies on the other person’s
ability to change.
What to Do:
Alternatively, we can take time to think. We can look for
the higher values within ourselves and others. What is the
higher, more harmonious goal that underlies the disagreement?
What character strengths are surfacing? When we reflect on
our higher values, our perspective changes from “me vs. you”
to “we,” and the humanity we have in common. The negative
feelings, then become an opportunity for growth, and help us
to move out of the battle. More thoughtful solutions begin
to emerge. This gives us the deep gratification of honoring
our higher ideals and those of the people who before us.
We become less dependent on a specific outcome because a
higher spirit lives on. Then we become more free. What do
you think?
Visit www.lifetreesolutions.com to find out more about the
role of values and strengths for creating harmony and peace.
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