We constantly are bombarded by the media on the pleasures that can make us happy. Movies, sex,
chocolate, television, games and drugs have become a constant staple of the physical and mental
diet of many Americans. But does this truly make us happy? Writers as Dr. Seligman (2002)
calls these shortcuts to happiness. While they may temporarily make us happy, the belief
that we can rely on these shortcuts can starve our passion and spirit. He argues that
authentic happiness results from more than satisfying our basic needs, but rather by
engaging in the exercise of personal strength and virtues. In order to fully understand
this, it is helpful to make a distinction between pleasures and fulfillments.
Pleasures
Pleasure refers to those events that give us immediate positive emotions and a sense
of well-being. Examples are movies, sex, artistic surroundings, music, massage, and
scrumptious food. Often they are seen as a quick fix to happiness. The only problem
is that the positive emotion dissipates over time so that an over reliance on
pleasures often leaves us with a feeling of being empty. They provide no lasting
benefit. Rather than being a continual diet, pleasures are most effective when
they are savored at the moment and spaced apart.
Fulfillments
Fulfillments come when we experience our inner strengths and abilities. They
are related to the special qualities about ourselves that get us totally absorbed.
They are unique for each person. For example, for one person it may be interior
design, or for another writing. The happiness that results from these fulfillments
comes from participating in activities that absorb and engage us fully so that we
experience flow. Dr. Carl Kauffman states says these experiences result are central
to psychological flourishing. They widen the scope of our attention, increase
intuition and creativity, and reduce our experience of stress. They are deeply
gratifying when they are connected to a purpose greater than ourselves.
If our goal is to have an increased sense of passion and purpose we need to engage
our strengths in activities that challenge our skills and abilities, spaced with
events of pleasure. You can get a better appreciation of your natural strengths
and virtues by completing the VIA Strengths Survey at http://www.authentichappiness.org.
Kauffman, C. Positive Psychology: The Science at the Heart of Coaching. In Stober, R. D.,
& Grant, M.A. Evidence Based Coaching Handbook. New Jersey: Wiley & Sons, 2006.
Seligman, M. Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your
Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. New York: Free Press, 2002.